Friday, January 6, 2012

This is the deal...

I should be posting on a few other events that are past due but this is what has been on my mind lately. Most of you who read this blog already know we are expecting.

We are very excited that we are expecting our next addition to our family. I feel baby hungry when I see little babies these days. I always look forward with anticipation to the day when we get to meet the new little addition.

However, pregnancy is a time of refining for me. Refining? Yes refining. Pregnancy hormones have always been tough on me. I feel like not only are the ligaments and muscles being relaxed but so is my brain, my motivation and my ability to cope.

I get the typical morning sickness that many women get and the tiredness that is felt by many in my same position, nothing that isn't par for the course. However, I feel like my ability to cope with it all has been severly compromised. My brain tells me 'ok kerrie this doesn't feel good but you can push thru this, get up and vacumn the living room' . My non-pregnant self more often then not would then get up and push forward. However, my pregnant self more often then not continues to sit and think about all that I need to do but can't seem to pull myself together to do. I then do what many women are good at, I get down on myself and think 'come on kerrie, what is wrong with you, you can do this'

Now this may seem like too much information but I feel the need to get this out there. I then find myself in a position of humility. I then realize my inability to do it all. All the things that I would typically be able to do without much difficulty or thought suddenly feel like mountains in my day. It is in these moments that I find I have to turn to the Lord for help and strength to do very simple things in my day.

These little people we invite into our lives teach us so many things. The whole process teaches me so much about my Father in Heaven and his relationship with me. I am gratiful for all that I learn in these experiences. That said I am also looking forward to hopefully having things level out a bit in the second trimester.